In the spirit of David Letterman, I present to you the Top 10 signs that your favorite baseball team might not be winning the World Series any time soon. As a Cubs fan, I am all too familiar with the warning signs, unfortunately, so I know what I’m talking about.

WARNING: This list is NOT politically correct, so if you can’t take a joke, then do yourself a favor and don’t read this. But if you can laugh at life, then please enjoy!

10. Team changes name to “Losers”- Not so subtle, but effective.

9. Your clean-up hitter is five months pregnant- Things could be worse, I guess…

8. Players constantly adjusting each others cups- This may be a sign that your players have their minds elsewhere.

7. You have an amputee playing third base- Ron Santo would click his heels over this one…well, if he could.

6. Stadium pop music is replaced with Funeral Dirges- “Taps” is not exactly what you might call an optimistic tune.

5. Even Madonna won’t sleep with your players- Self explanatory.

4. Your team mascot doubles as your starting outfielder- Somehow, I don’t think “Double Duty” Radcliffe had this in mind…

3. Spirited locker room debates arise about how many strikes to an out- This is never a good thing.

2. Players routinely leave early to beat the traffic- Actually, this might fly in Los Angeles, come to think of it.

1. Your team has both the words “Chicago” and Cubs” in the name- Look, there’s a reason they haven’t won in over 100 years!

-Bob Warja